The Letter She Will Never Read
by Ella Hollywood
Summary: Jacob has expressed his feelings towards Bella before...but never quite like this. xxOneShotxx about how he truly feels-no holding back. Read and reveiw!


**Hello everyone! So this is a story I wrote and posted, but I've re-written it and edited it n stuff in hopes it will be better :) I hope you enjoy reading it! Make sure to let me know! Oh, this was written Pre-Breaking Dawn so I know that Jacob has imprinted on renessme and blah blah blah so please no hate letters saying 'Edward and Bella are married, Jacob is going to love renessme, you SUCK!' Becuase that is very mean and I already know. SO, Im done talking now. Otaythanks :)**

Letter She'll Never Read 

_Dear Bella:_

_Sometimes I'm not sure whether I should smile because we're friends, or cry because that's all we'll ever be. But the truth is….I love you. I know that's a strong word, but I mean it. Bells, I've tried to get over you, trust me. But I can't and maybe there's a reason that not loving you isn't working out. Maybe I'm supposed to love you, maybe you're supposed to love me-maybe you're just blinded by the way he 'sparkles in the sun'. Bella he looks like a ginger bread cookie! But please…you have to understand how I feel. I know you're mad at me right now- I'm sorry for what I did, and I hope you didn't hurt your hand to much when you hit me…because I would never want you to get hurt. And unlike him, I would never, ever, put you in danger…I don't do that to people I love. You would be safe with me Bella. I could Love you and protect you until the day I die…but that's not long enough for you is it? Because you want to be one of them. You want to live forever cursed to eternal damnation and to turn into some blood crazed newborn that is going to kill innocent people, maybe even people you know! Bella I can't do this anymore. I can't just sit around here watching you play with a…a creature that is willing to kill you just so he can have the love of his life forever…why would you want that Bells? _

_Love, _

_Jacob_

Jacob held the letter in his big hands, his whole body trembling. He fought to control the spasms as they came with gasps of air; love, fear, rage, need, want, abandonment.

With tears tricking down his face onto the paper, staining it with the pain that had welled up inside of him, Jacob looked to the sky. Just like everything else in his life, a dark cloud hung suspended above him.

Jacob had thought that he and Bella would stay friends and he had hoped they would one day be even more then that. She wouldn't promise him much, but she had promised him that. However, when Edward came back things had spiraled back to how they were before.

Really, Jacob had no reason to be mad with Bella; it was, essentially, Edwards fault. When she had walked back into the arms of Edward, he had tried to get her back. But everything he said never came out right, and everything he did never came across right. She always ended up in tears, he always ended up mad, and they both ended up hurt. Jacob was positive about one thing…Bella would never understand how hurt he really was.

It hurt every waking moment-in his dreams it was more then hurt, it was excruciating. It hurt to look into her eyes, knowing Edward had stared into them all night long. It was hurt to see her forced smile as she looked up at him, knowing that that smile came as easy as breathing around Edward. It hurt so much he wanted to just disappear-not out of weakness, but out of the strength of knowing that things may never change. He needed Bella like she needed him when Edward had left.

Not only was Bella gone, but Jacob didn't know how much longer she would actually be 'Bella' for. Edward wanted to kill her. He wanted to bite into Bella's tender flesh and transform her into the horrible bloodsucker he was. What's even worse, is that Bella was all for this idea! She wanted to die! She wanted to be a leach, just like the rest of them. Did she understand what that meant? Did she understand that if she became a vampire, her and Jacob would be immortal enemies! All these thoughts flooded through Jacobs mind at once. He didn't want to lose Bella….he needed Bella.

The clouds cried with Jacob-teardrops and raindrops mixing together on his cheeks. He had held back the tears for too long. So tonight, as he stood in front of Bella's house, he cried. He cried the tears he had been saving for way to long. He cried out all the pain, loss, and hurt that had been building up inside of him… and he wasn't ashamed.

Jacob squeezed his eyes tight, hoping that if he could focus on just the blackness it produced he could shut out the images that never seemed to leave him. All those frozen moments in time where he only saw him and Bella...no Edward. That's one of the things that stung the most, all those old memories. The times where the two had laughed together, cried happy tears together, just been together. That's all Jacob wished for now, to be with Bella. To have time reversed back to the way things once were, the good old days.

Jacob sucked in a couple of long scattered breaths as he folded the letter hastily in his shaking hands. He sealed it in the envelope marked 'Bella', slowly tracing each letter with the tips of his fingers.

Looking around the street to make sure no one was watching, and hearing no approaching cars, Jacob ducked around the trees he had been standing behind. He slowly but cautiously walked over to Bella's front door.

He reached out to ring the doorbell, but quickly pulled his hand back. Staring at the letter he had written oh so carefully, Jacob thought about what he was about to do.

Was this really going to make a difference? She had her mind pretty dead set on Edward…literally. Would it make things worse then they already were…Jacob didn't know anything for certain anymore…he hated that feeling. So with one last look at the door, he ripped the letter in half. Then, letting the full strength of his misery out, he ripped the letter into a thousand pieces that, hopefully, could never be put back together again.

Dropping the torn pieces of the letter, Jacob whispered his parting words before disappearing into the thick black trees.

"I would rather see you dead."

**oooooooooohhhhhhhhh SNAP! Now, do you see that little box? yes, that one. The one that says 'reveiw'. Click on it. Then you can let me know what you think as that is the feul that keeps me writing. Thanks everyone!**


End file.
